


Just One Year

by MrMsTanaka



Category: Takarazuka Revue RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, F/F, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-07
Updated: 2013-08-01
Packaged: 2017-12-14 06:49:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/833970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrMsTanaka/pseuds/MrMsTanaka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How long does your love last?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Spring

**Author's Note:**

> Ryuu Masaki > Masao  
> Asumi Rio > Mirio
> 
> Cover Art: http://250kb.de/u/131021/j/nvDq9ceHLRcg.jpg

I still remember the first day I’ve met you.   
It was a sunny and warm day right in the middle of spring. Sometime in March, when the leaves started to bloom; some of the trees were already green, but some of them still showed the face of winter behind them. But it hadn’t taken long and also the last trees were fully bloomed.   
I saw you and you saw me. But you hadn’t given me any attention, for you I was just another stranger passing by, sitting next to you. Just a stranger from whom you hoped that she wouldn’t interrupt you while you were reading your book.  
And of course, I let you read, you were just too precious how you had been sunk deeply in the world which you have created in your head while you were reading. I just gave you some short looks now and then because I was amazed of your face and your presence. For a second I was tempted to speak to you, but something held me back, but I’d known already that I maybe would see you again and that I would have got my chance to talk to you sooner or later.   
The bus came. And with the bus together you were gone from one second to another. I looked after you, but you had put up your book again already right after you sat down in the bus. I sighed toneless and kicked a little stone between my feet away. For me the moment was perfect, but of course you couldn’t feel the same because you hardly noticed me.  
  
The other day I came back to the bus stop and saw you again. Surprised, I started to grin like a fool, but I couldn’t behave like a child, still I wanted to see you again. Slowly I came closer and sat next to you another time. You, of course, were reading again. Without any hesitation you slid a little in the opposite direction, so I had more space to sit. You were still kind, although you hadn’t even noticed me. I smiled slightly; I didn’t mind it but I thought it would have been nice if you just threw a short look at me.   
You didn’t. Somehow I felt sad, but I didn’t know why, because I shouldn’t. In the moment you stood up to walk over to your bus I took my chance and raised my voice with full confidence:   
“My name is Masao.”  
You held in for a split second, but you didn’t answer me. Facing the ground, you moved further to the bus, got in and then it drove away. I hadn’t seen you through the window; you must have sat on the other side. Suddenly, I was confused and scared and also slightly disappointed, but the rest of the day I tried not to think about it and just went home.  
  
Just one day later you weren’t at the bus stop anymore. I was there earlier than the other days, so I thought maybe you would have still come, but I was wrong.  
This day was unusually cold at once, it hadn’t felt like spring anymore and I was freezing a little in my thin jacket. But I waited for you. I saw busses passing by, people were getting out of them, some other people got onto them, but you weren’t with those people. A sudden sadness came over and me and if that wasn’t enough it started to rain at once. There was no other way, either I waited further more and got wet to my bones or I went back home. I waited around ten minutes longer before I left the place, my clothes were soaking wet till then and I felt a cold coming up as soon as I was at home.  
  
I hadn’t gone to the bus stop for days anymore. Possibly, I was sick for a week and I didn’t leave the house and then I lost all my faith in seeing you again.   
But on a warm April noon I decided to visit the place another time, still not really faithful but I gave it a try. And I was surprised because I didn’t except you to sit there. But something was different, you had no book in front of your face, you were just sitting and staring blank into the air. I was unsure if I should come closer, because obviously you knew who I was, but on the other hand you’d never given me any glance at all. Also, I was not sure if you have noticed me right away.  
It took me a lot of courage, but I walked towards the bus stop and without hesitation, I sat down next to you, the hands deep in my pockets of my leather jacket. It felt wrong to say a word, so I just stared also into the air and listened to your steady breath next to me.   
The bus came suddenly; I have lost all feeling for time already and didn’t expect it to be that late at once. Automatically, I lowered my chin and waited for you to get up, walk to the bus and getting in. But you didn’t. I dared to look up a bit and met your beautiful profile, yet it felt wrong to stare at you like that, so I tilted my head again.  
“I’m Mirio.” Your words came so suddenly and whispery that I almost didn’t notice them.  
I looked up and saw that you were glancing at me in that moment. I was out of words and I felt my heart beating faster. Unsure how to react I gulped and waited maybe a bit too long until I was able to give you a rather incoherent answer:   
“Nice to meet you.”  
My eyes were jumping from yours to your nose, forehead and mouth, behind you and back to your eyes. And then you smiled. You smiled warmly and honestly. I had never seen such a smile in my life before. I needed to take the chance before the moment passed away forever and so I took all my courage, faced you direct and smiled back.  
“Would you like to have tea with me?” I bit my lip until it hurt.  
You took an eternity to answer, but your smile just became even wider, still I was unsure.   
“Of course.” You answered still in your whispery voice and I saw you slightly blushing.  
I grinned and suddenly I felt so light-hearted like never before.   
  
That was the day I got to know you and I can’t forget the precious days and the summer we spent together…  
  


 

_To be continued..._


	2. Summer

‘Will it be always like this?’ I thought, silently, and closed my eyes as we reached the bus stop and sat down.  
June came fast and with it the heat came and those lovely days were meant to be spent outside. I met you almost every day when you weren’t busy. As soon as we parted every evening I missed you already. Every afternoon you came with the bus and in the evenings you went with another one back home. I always smiled like an idiot, because I felt how much it meant to me to be with you. I assumed you thought the same, although you hadn’t said anything about it, but you looked happy and your laughter was telling me that everything was fine.  
But we hadn’t taken it too fast; it was an innocent romance, with a lot of dating, so we were able to get closer to each other. And with every second, every minute I found a bit more of myself in you and because of that I felt more and more connected to you.

The other day we went to an ice cream shop and it wasn’t hard for me to find out what your favorite ice cream flavour was. But you surprised me before I could do it, because before I was even able to order something, you came to me with two cornets and you had even found out my favorite flavour, though I never told it to you. I don’t know how long I was standing there with my mouth wide-opened.  
“Mirio, how could you know that…?” I tried to ask you, but you interrupted me directly.  
“Shh… just enjoy it.” Your grin was so cheeky and you gave me a little wink; I just laughed and didn’t ask anymore.

That was not the only day you surprised me.  
Around two weeks later we met as usually, but you were extremely mysterious and although I asked you what was wrong, you didn’t say a word. Of course, I was curious, but I let you be, I just hoped everything was alright between us.  
We walked around town for a while and you suddenly stopped by a flower shop. While you were inside, I wondered if I should maybe buy you a flower, or maybe two or more, but just before I could’ve finish my thought, you came back with a single red rose in your hand. Surprised, I looked at you, not able to say a word. Maybe I stared too long, but you just took me by the hand and led me into the closest park right under a huge tree who spent a lot of shadow.  
“Mirio, I-” You lay one finger on my lips and smiled, I knew that I shouldn’t say a word and so you looked at me with such an intense gaze, that I almost felt dizzy.  
“Masao…” You said, while holding the rose in front of your chest; your voice was soft and warm.  
“Happy two-month-anniversary.” You said further and I wasn’t able to react.  
But then my mind got clearer again and I realized that you counted the days back since the day we got closer. My smile got so wide that I felt my cheeks hurting. But right in the moment I wanted to open my mouth to say something, you interrupted me again, of course I didn’t mind.  
“And, Masao… I have something to tell you.” Suddenly you sounded rather serious and I was confused, because your whole expression changed.  
I just nodded and waited for you to go on, but you took your time and that made me even more nervous.  
“You know that I like you a lot, don’t you?” You asked, not rejecting my look, your eyes were focused direct on me.  
I nodded again and gulped at the same time. All of sudden I was scared.  
“And… I, of course, hope that you like me the way I like you and…” You made such a dramatic pause, that I’d almost felt the sweat on my forehead.  
“What I’m trying to say is… I really fell in love with you.” After finishing your confession, you got silent and I’d stared at you for a few seconds with a blank expression on my face.  
I didn’t know what to say, but I just tried to listen to my heart and it was directing me towards you. I sensed your breath so close to my own and within a split second I felt your lips on mine.  
That kiss didn’t last long and we separated soon again; your cheeks turned slightly red and also I was feeling warmer than before, although the day was pretty warm anyway. I didn’t know how long we stood on the spot in silence, but I enjoyed it because I knew you were thinking the same like I did.  
“Mirio?” I broke through the silence and held your hand in mine.  
“Hm?”  
“Shall we go now?” My voice was an unintended whisper, but everything in this moment felt too perfect to be real, but I knew it was reality; it was my reality.  
You answered with a silent nod and we went back to the bus stop, so you could catch your last bus home.

As usual I waited until the bus was out of sight, before I went home myself.  
It was a perfect summer with a perfect romance; I didn’t want to lose you anymore because you gave me the feeling to be loved and in your presence I felt safe and happy.

Why hadn’t I known that the summer wouldn’t last forever?


	3. Fall

When the first leaves were turning from dark green to bright red and some of them had already fallen off the trees, I knew the warm days would be over.  
But we still used those last warm days, although I already put out my leather jacket again and you your light coat. 

I picked you up, as usual, from the bus stop and we went into town. It was already too cold to sit outside on the terrace of a café, so we decided to take our seats inside. I sighed when I got my tea and stared with empty eyes on it.  
“What’s wrong?” You asked, your voice was as warm as the sun and you felt the sorrow inside me.  
I hesitated to answer and played with the spoon in my hand.  
“It’s… it’s nothing.” I looked up and saw in your eyes, that you knew I was lying.  
For another time I sighed. I was always a terrible liar.  
I didn’t expect you to say something, but I waited for something, a word, a tone, a gesture, but you simply waited until I told you the truth. My hands started to tremble and I hid them below the table.  
“I… I miss you.” I told you then, whispery and almost unnoticeable.  
“You miss me? But we meet each other almost every day. Why do you miss me?” You looked intensively at me.  
It took me another few moments to give you a coherent answer, yet I stumbled across my own words.  
“No, you… you don’t understand. I miss you each day, every time you go home. Every day when I look after the bus until it is out of sight. I miss you so hard that it hurts and… and I…” I swallowed the last sentence and tried to control my trembling hands.  
I got excited by what I said and I felt the sweat sticking on my forehead.  
“Masao…” I heard a sad tone in your voice in the moment you said my name and I already regretted what I had told you.   
But then you took a deep breath and looked direct into my eyes:  
“I miss you, too. I wish I could be all day long by your side, you should know that. And… it’s not that I would go away. I’m here! I am here and I talk to you, spend time with you. You know that I love you, I won’t go away, never.” Your smile was deeply heart-warming and I felt how the heavy doubts lying on my shoulders fell down; for that second I felt unbelievably relieved.  
You reached out for my hand and held it gently. The soft fingertips I felt on my palm, made me relax. I took a deep breath and sighed, looked up to you and smiled.  
“I’m glad I have you by my side.” My voice was steady again and I already felt better.  
We used this new-found harmony to spend the whole afternoon in that café until it was time to go home.

There were no people at the bus stop and every now and then I gave you some thoughtful glances. We hadn’t talked much since we left the café and were going hand in hand to the bus stop. I felt that something was changing, but I couldn’t recall what exactly it was and so I tried not to think about it too much. Apparently you were thinking the same, because when I looked at you the next time you did the same and I saw some sorrow and sadness gleaming in your eyes. I was confused and worried at the same time, I wasn’t sure if I had done something wrong.  
But paired with a single tear you gave me a smile. Your whole body was shivering, so I lay one arm around your shoulders and dragged you closer.  
“I’m cold, Masao…” You just whispered, while you snuggled deeper into my arms and I held you even closer.  
“Don’t worry.” I said calming and with my eyes closed.  
“Although winter is coming soon, I will be here to warm you when you feel cold.”   
With your one hand you crawled under my jacket, I felt it on my waist, it was really cold and I got goose bumps all of sudden. It seemed you noticed that and wanted to take the hand away again.  
“No, it’s alright.” I just whispered, stopped your hand and pushed it back under my jacket.  
“I’m fine.”  
For some moments we remained silent, we just heard the wind blowing hard against the tree crowns. I saw some leaves falling down and the wind swirled them up again and they flew in different directions. I felt chillier with every minute and the sun was also about to set soon.  
I really wanted to ask you why you started to cry, but I bit my tongue; I didn’t want to lose this moment, no matter what. Your warm body against mine was everything I needed and so I didn’t dare to ask anything. 

In the moment your bus came, I had just opened my mouth, but there were no words to come out, although my mind was full with things I always wanted to tell you. But why should I have done it now? Why shouldn’t I just have waited until next time? There were thousands of things I wanted to say and I believed you didn’t mind that I told them to you.   
I gave you one last kiss and then you took one short look over your shoulder. You smiled, waved at me and I was sure that there was still some kind of sadness in your eyes. Something inside me told me I should’ve got up, hold you by your hand and drag you back to me, yet I refused to listen to this inner voice.  
You vanished inside the bus, my heart was pounding fast, and I looked after it until it was out of sight.

This was the last day I had seen you.


	4. Winter

I don’t know exactly when it was, but I lost track of the days I was counting until I could have seen you again. I waited for you whenever I got the chance; I almost sat the whole day in the bitter cold just waiting for you to show up at the bus stop.  
I watched the busses coming and I watched them going, but every time a bus arrived and I lifted my head to look for you, you weren’t there. But still, with every bus coming to the bus stop I had new hope, I hoped for you to step out of one of them and then you would have smiled at me and embraced me tightly. Just as you did all the days we had met each other.  
But you didn’t come anymore. You left me alone. You left me in the cold, in those bitter cold winter days. And I didn’t even know why. I still remember the last day in fall, the day on which you cried and I didn’t dare to ask you why you did so because I didn’t want that moment to be ruined. I regretted that I hadn’t asked you, I felt guilty for not letting you know what was really on my mind. Now the thoughts were long forgotten, I wondered when I was about to forget your name…

“Mirio…” I whispered, seeing my breath in the icy wind, as I came back to reality.  
I pushed my hands deeper in the pockets of my winter coat; I forgot my gloves at home. The seat next to me seemed frozen and was covered with a thin layer of snow. It was the seat you used to sit, now I could just vague remember how you looked next to me, how you snuggled closer because you felt cold at once. When I closed my eyes I could recall your scent, I could feel your touch on my arms and my tummy again, but it didn’t last long. As soon as the wind blew again or snow fell down on my face the pictures in my mind vanished and I had to realize that you were just a memory any longer.

The last bus came and just a few people came out. In the meantime it just got terribly dark and I hated winter for that. But now you weren’t here anymore I hated winter even more.  
I got up as soon as the bus drove away and took a few steps on the snowy street. It had just fallen down and was untouched but I destroyed it with my own feet. I tried to remember if I had destroyed anything in our relationship, but I can’t recall a thing.   
‘Where are you?’ The thoughts were coming again and again and I felt myself being close to tears, because the feeling I got from knowing that I wouldn’t see you again was the worst I ever had.  
Normally I would have gone home, but I stayed longer in the city than usual, I just wandered around and checked the spots we used to visit together. There was that ice cream shop and I remembered you buying me the first time my favorite ice cream although I had never told you which I liked.  
Then there was the flower shop where you bought me that single rose. Instantly I followed a little path to a park and found the tree where you confessed me your love. Back in summer it spent a lot of shadow, but now it was just a ghost of the tree it used to be. There were no leaves anymore and thick layers of snow lay on the boughs. I reached out for the massive trunk, touched it; let my fingers slowly glide across the bark. Then I couldn’t help it, but a single tear poured down my cheek, got colder with every centimetre it ran further. My muscles felt weak at once and I couldn’t hold myself any longer, stumbled forward and leaned with my back against that huge tree, silently crying while I was thinking of you.  
‘Why did you disappear?’

Maybe I stood there longer than I could recall, but I had no intention to leave that spot, I just remembered every word you told me over and over again. Even if I can’t remember your face in detail anymore, I knew how you said those words, although your voice slowly disappeared as well.  
“Mirio… come back… please.” I sent an almost unnoticed prayer up that tree, but I knew nobody would hear it in the end.  
In the moment when no tears were coming anymore I got a grip and pushed me away from the trunk, looked after it while I was walking away slowly. I had never come back here again.

The streets were unusually empty, but then it was way too cold to stay out longer than people needed to. So it was just me, the snow and the coldness around me, wrapping me into its sheets, making my body colder and colder, although I wore a winter coat.  
My way led me to a bridge. We used to walk past it back in spring and once we stood on it we watched the ducks floating across the river and we fed the fishes down there with crumbs. Now I looked down to the river, saw neither ducks nor fishes, just a noisy river with apparently ice cold water. I wondered if the ducks always came back to the same spot when the winter ended, but then they might found another nice place to stay during the next spring and summer. I also wondered if you had found a new place to live as well or if you were still close to me but you just didn’t show your face anymore. I just didn’t know what I had done wrong that you left me. Or didn’t you choose to leave me alone?  
I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and sighed.   
‘Do you miss me?’ The thoughts kept coming to my mind and I really wished I just could shut them off.  
“I miss you…” It came out of mouth – whispery.  
I looked down to the river again. No, I didn’t dare to think of taking my own life, but I pondered a lot about what it was worth living for, now you were gone. Nothing made my days brighter than having you around.  
If I just knew why you didn’t come anymore, maybe it would have been enough, but you didn’t leave me any note or sign. And that was the worst.

I walked further, crossed another street where we used to walk along and came back to the bus stop. Meanwhile all the seats were covered with thick layers of snow. Nature didn’t even want me to sit down again, it was just a reminder that I should have gone home already, although I didn’t want to.  
I wanted to be here with you, waiting for your last bus, giving you one last kiss and waiting until your bus was out of sight. Then I was satisfied and able to go home; with butterflies and a happy feeling inside me. A feeling I couldn’t recall any longer, it just vanished, just as you did on that chilly autumn evening.  
A few minutes later I gave up and went back home, unhappy and terrified.

 

The months passed away, the winter was long and merciless. I had never come back to the bus stop again. I locked my heart and tried to avoid letting out my feelings, and I succeeded, I hadn’t even thought of you anymore, because I kept myself busy - until that day I had to go back to that place. I had to pick something up from a shop and so I had to walk the streets again. But on that day it didn’t feel that pitiful anymore, because winter was fading away slowly and the first signals of spring came along. Some trees started to bloom already and the air wasn’t that cold anymore. Despite of that I still wore my winter coat.   
After picking up my stuff I somehow couldn’t resist and went straight to the bus stop, but I held myself back from going too far; from sitting down on ‘my’ seat and to wait for you. Just in that minute a bus arrived. It stopped and people came out. I hadn’t had hope any longer, but I waited for the people to come out and I looked after them.   
And then, there I saw a girl, a girl with the exactly same jacket just like you. My heart started pounding fast and I froze on my spot because I couldn’t believe what I just saw. I almost started to smile and to raise my voice to shout your name, but right in that moment the person turned around and instantly I recognized that it wasn’t you, just another girl wearing the same jacket and having a similar haircut.  
My smile faded away at once, my hands trembled and I swallowed hard. The other girl went in another direction and I was alone – again. 

This day assured me that I still had feelings for you and that I needed you in my life, although I thought I killed off all of my feelings. But deep inside me I knew, that I couldn’t do it.

I loved you, and I still love you – forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for reading!


End file.
